Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
