i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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