it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
