Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
