I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
