I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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