I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
