just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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