Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
