people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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