I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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