So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
