so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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