Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
