I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
