On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
