I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
