So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
vagina is talking i cant
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
