I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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