She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
