I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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