I bet he comes in French.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
