Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
honey bunches of taint.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
