Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
