Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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