If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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