How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
