I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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