don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
