Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You took a bar mat shot.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
