What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
