are you so shy because you have an std?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize