I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize