i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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