If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Sober January is a disaster.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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