you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize