paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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