Umm I'm too high to move.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize