I can text with my tongue
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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