Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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