There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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