Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize