And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
