she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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