I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
