my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
