Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
