all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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