"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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