why didn't you poke me back
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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