her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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