SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
