where am i from again
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
