Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
