if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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