her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
