I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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