I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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