Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
