Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think my vagina is haunted
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
