I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
