I heard we made out
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
