the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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