i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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